What Is Defamation of Character?

Most people have heard the terms libel and slander.  But these two terms fall under the larger umbrella of defamation of character.  Libel is written defamation, and slander is spoken defamation. But what is defamation? In this article, we’ll explore the legal definition of defamation, what you’ll need to prove in order to bring a successful defamation claim against someone, and more. (For more on the legal elements of defamation cases, check out this legal overview.)

Defamation Defined

Defamation is a false statement someone makes about you, which they publish as a statement of fact, and which harms your personal and/or professional reputation or causes you other damages, including financial loss and emotional distress.

A statement that is merely someone’s opinion is not defamatory, unless it is presented as if it were a fact. If someone writes, “It seems to me that John Smith is a crooked politician,” that most likely is protected opinion. Courts do not want to hinder public speech, even about controversial subjects, so opinions generally are protected speech. However, if the statement is “John Smith is a crooked politician,” and it is not a true statement, it may be defamatory. It is a fine distinction to bear in mind, but an important one.

What Defamation Claimants Need to Prove

To prevail on a defamation claim if you are a private individual, you must first prove that the statement was false. If the statement is true, no matter how unflattering it may be, your claim will be barred because truth is an absolute defense to a defamation action.

In addition, you will need to prove that the statement was made by a person who either knew it was false at the time, or showed “reckless disregard” for whether it was true or false.

Finally, the statement also must be published. The most common examples of publication would be inclusion in a newspaper or magazine, or repetition on a news broadcast on TV or online, but if the speaker repeats the statement to any third party, it may still constitute defamation.

In the average case, if you can prove these three things (false statement, made knowingly or recklessly, and published to others), a court will presume that you have suffered damages without any showing of damages, and you could receive compensation for provable losses. But, to recover so-called “punitive damages,” damages intended to make an example of the person or entity that made the statement, you would need to show that the statement was made maliciously, which is a more difficult showing to make.

Likewise, if you are a public figure or official (such as a celebrity or politician or a member of local government), you also must prove that actual malice existed in the making of the statement. This is because courts will presume that, being in the public eye, it is more likely that various statements will be made about you, and that many of them will be opinions. Because people who place themselves in the public domain are more likely to be exposed to questionable statements, it is harder for them to succeed with a defamation claim.

Defamation in the Real World

An example of a defamatory statement may be an accusation made against a public official — such as that he or she took a bribe or committed a crime, assuming the allegation is presented as fact.  An accusation of “police brutality” or immorality may also be defamatory. Allegations of adultery or other sexual misconduct may be considered defamatory if they are false.

Today, the pervasiveness of Internet-based media makes it difficult to draw the line between opinion and defamatory speech.  Many opinion-based publications (such as blogs) are widely read on daily basis. But not everything on a blog or on a person’s own website is automatically deemed opinion. This area of the law is constantly evolving, and is especially important to monitor given the increasing reliance on the Internet for communication and media content.

See Defamation & Slander on the Internet: Legal Issues

The “Right” To Make a Damaging Statement

Truth is not the only defense to a defamation claim. Certain statements, even if defamatory, may be privileged and therefore not actionable. The rules of privilege are complicated, but one example, is statements made by officials in the context of an investigation or other official duty. These may not be actionable even when otherwise defamatory, because the law encourages vigorous investigation, especially of crimes, and it’s in the best interest of the public for officials not to be hampered in their ability to perform their jobs. The same may be true of statements made in court. Privileged speech may be absolutely protected or “qualified” (protected under certain conditions), depending on the jurisdiction.

Defamation cases are inherently complicated, and the cases often turn on very subtle interpretations of the law and available evidence. If you’re looking into this type of claim, you’ll need a personal injury attorney experienced in defamation cases to examine the merits of your case and put together your legal strategy.

The basics of defamation law, find out what makes a valid claim for libel or slander.

In essence, a defamation claim can arise when one person says something damaging about another person. However, if a plaintiff could successfully sue every time his or her feelings got hurt, there would be more defamation cases than the legal system could handle. For this and other reasons, defamation is a complex kind of tort (civil injury). This article discusses the key legal concepts of defamation law, different types of defamation – libel vs. slander – and their essential elements.

Why Defamation is Complex: Harm to Reputation and Free Speech

The essential harm alleged in a defamation claim is “damage to the plaintiff’s reputation in the community.” Because reputation is such an intangible thing, and because of the tendency of some people to react strongly to perceived insults, defamation has evolved — over centuries of legal decisions — into a complex concept filled with safeguards and requirements that are designed to weed out weak claims.

The right to free speech only adds to the complexity. It may be a common misconception that anyone can say whatever they want (other than shouting “fire” in a crowded theater), but the right to free speech is not an absolute right in all situations. Serious damage to a plaintiff’s reputation can cause real harm to a person’s livelihood and well-being, therefore the rules of defamation try to balance protection of reputation with the constitutional rules of freedom of speech.

See this article on the issue of Defamation vs. First Amendment Rights.

The Essential Elements of Defamation

There are two kinds of defamation, slander and libel, which are discussed below. The essential elements of either kind are 1) a defamatory statement 2) that is “published” to someone other than the plaintiff and the defendant.

A “defamatory statement” is any statement that an ordinary person would find damaging to their reputation and character. Typically, a judge will determine if the statement is actually defamatory. Only if it is unclear whether the statement is defamatory, either because of the context in which it was made or because of multiple possible interpretations, will the jury be asked to make the assessment.

Types of Defamation: Slander vs. Libel

Before the advent of modern media, there were only two kinds of communication available, spoken and written. Slander pertained to spoken defamation and libel to written. Where defamatory statements published via radio, television or the internet fit into these categories is not a clear-cut matter. For now, it is easiest to think of slander as spoken defamation to a small audience (or just one other person) and libel as any written defamation or spoken or video defamation to a large audience. Generally, it is up to the judge, and not the jury, in a defamation case to determine which category the defamation fits into.

The Elements of Slander

There are two types of slander: slander and slander per se. In the first kind of slander, the plaintiff must prove the defendant made a defamatory statement to at least one other person (i.e. the essential defamation elements) and that the plaintiff suffered what are referred to as “special damages” as a result of the defamation. Special damages are actual harm like loss of customers, being fired, or some other financial harm.

A slander per se claim does not require that the plaintiff prove special damages. This is because slander per se claims involve categories of defamatory statements that are presumed to be damaging to the plaintiff. While the categories may change a little for state to state, and evolve over the years, some of the most common slander per se categories are:

  • imputing criminal conduct to the plaintiff
  • saying that the plaintiff has certain types of communicable diseases, and
  • any harmful statement about the plaintiff’s profession or business.

The Elements of Libel

If the defamatory statement falls into the category of libel, the plaintiff only needs to prove the essential elements, i.e. 1) the defendant published a defamatory statement about the plaintiff in written or another form 2) and other people were exposed to the statement. There are no additional requirements because the law presumes that once the publication of a defamatory statement has been made in written or other formats, the statement will remain in the public sphere for a long time and continue to do damage.

Damages for Defamation

Once the plaintiff has successfully proved defamation, “general damages” are presumed. The plaintiff is not simply limited to damages reflecting his or her economic losses, but the mental anguish and other emotional harm that the law presumes to result from having one’s reputation harmed. Depending on what the plaintiff proves about the defendant’s intentions, and the type of defendant, punitive damages may also be awarded to the plaintiff. For more, see our section on damages in a personal injury case.

Defenses to Defamation

Generally, if the defendant can prove that what he or she said or published about the plaintiff was true, the plaintiff will lose the case. In the case of defendants like certain media outlets (e.g. newspapers), the plaintiff must prove the statement was untrue — the media defendant is not required to prove its publication was true to defend the case.

Another defense to defamation is privilege. When the defendant is a certain type of public official or the statement was during certain official proceedings, the statement was “privileged” and therefore the plaintiff cannot successfully sue for defamation.

Truth and deception ,Compulsive Lying

Is your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend a compulsive/pathological liar or a sociopath?

To begin with, it may help to understand the difference between a pathological or compulsive liar and a sociopath (see types of liars).

Ultimately, making this type of distinction may not be that useful. Because in either case, the outcome is typically the same: dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar is very difficult to do. And unfortunately, sociopaths cannot be changed (see lovefraud).

A compulsive liar will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. Again, everyone lies from time to time (see when lovers lie), but for a compulsive liar, telling lies is routine. It becomes a habit—a way of life.

Simply put, for a compulsive liar, lying becomes second nature.

Not only do compulsive liars bend the truth about issues large and small, they take comfort in it. Lying feels right to a compulsive liar. Telling the truth, on the other hand, is difficult and uncomfortable.

And like any behavior which provides comfort and an escape from discomfort (i.e., alcohol, drugs, sex), lying can become addictive and hard to stop. For the compulsive liar, lying feels safe and this fuels the desire to lie even more.

Making matters even more complicated, compulsive lying is often a symptom of a much larger personality disorder, which only makes the problem more difficult to resolve (see narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder).

Unfortunately, compulsive lying is hard for the person involved to see, but it hurts those who are around it. Compulsive lying, if not addressed, can easily ruin a relationship (for example, see why does he need to lie).

Compulsive lying can be dealt with through counseling or therapy. But, like any addictive behavior (and/or personality disorder), getting someone to admit they have a problem with lying is the difficult part. Sadly enough, getting someone to recognize that he or she has a problem usually requires hitting rock bottom first.


Please take a look at two different viewers’ attempts to deal with a compulsive liar. These strategies may not work for everyone, but hopefully they give people some options and ideas about how to cope with a compulsive liar.

And if you have any successful strategies that have worked for you, please feel free to share them with us so that other people might benefit from your experience. Thanks!

One viewer’s attempt

Here’s how I tried to get my boyfriend to stop lying:

It is possible to get a compulsive liar to change, but he’s going to have to be confronted over and over with the truth of his lying ways, and it’s going to be a long, systematic, and strategic process. I’ve been systematically exposing my boyfriend’s lying ways over the last few months. I learned to do my research up front when something looked/seemed suspicious. After my suspicions were confirmed, I’d ask him about what he said, giving him an opportunity to come clean. Once he didn’t, I’d present the indisputable evidence.

At that point he would simply be silent. That was the only admission of guilt I would get, but I accepted it. The point was that he knew that I knew. So after I developed a pattern of confronting him with evidence, it became harder for him to automatically offer a lie as an explanation because there was a risk that I had done/would do more research to confirm the truth. So at least at that point he would second guess his decision to just make something up. At this point the habit gets disrupted, maybe not broken, but at least disrupted.

From there I began to weave into conversations (in appropriate contexts) that he has a demonstrated history of not telling the truth, just to reinforce that I don’t automatically buy everything he says now. No matter how hard he tries to argue against that, I stick to my guns and restate that the past history of lies speaks for itself. I’ve also made it clear that we are the process of rebuilding trust as a natural consequence of his deception (this is when he asks when I’m ever going to trust him again. It’s also been good to ask him to really reflect on whether he’s worthy of trust at this point).

I still do my research, but now when he lies about things I don’t have to present the evidence in order for him to admit the truth. When I call him on a lie, he may try to deny it at first or shade things a little or offer a perfectly understandable explanation. But I just tell him I know that’s not the exact truth. He has started now to abandon his need to convince me of the truth with his words. In fact he understands his words are ineffective with me, and for good reason. So a little bit more of the habit has been shaken up.

Another viewer’s response

The writer above comes to no conclusion as to the results of this strategy. I think that the strategy is typical of anyone that gets involved with a lying person (addict of any sort.)

My own observations is that the liar will come clean when it serves their purpose and return to lying when it serves their purpose. In the meantime, the person confronting and attempting to change this behavior becomes increasingly codependent through focusing such effort into changing another’s behavior. Eventually the confronter will become very sick through their confronting, while the liar will move on with little or no scars from the interaction.

Another viewer’s attempt

From experience, there is a lot to think about when your boyfriend lies to you. Some will lie be be purposely malicious, but others do it to gain some self serving purpose or esteem. As for my boyfriend, I tried to confront him by telling him that lying will eventually make you lose trust and respect from others around you. This may seem really ridiculous, but he took some good whacks from me.

Afterward, I explained that truth and honesty will earn him respect and that I would not want to be with anyone that was not willing to confront such an issue as lying. From then on, I encourage him every time he tells the truth about anything. He is gradually telling more truths lately, and I am encouraged by this. I see other wonderful sides of him as well, and try to see him as a patient going through healing.

However, not all cases of lying may be the same, so it depends on the guy you may be involved with. You should know if the guy does not mean harm deep down… so it could just take a lot of patience and forgiveness for a while. After all, isn’t part of love being forgiving and patient?

Another viewer’s solution

My only tip to being with a compulsive liar is to leave them. I was engaged up until this week and I had confronted him on a number of occasions on the tiniest of lies, but it didn’t stop him lying to me. In fact, he tried to justify lying by wanting ‘an easy life.’ In the end I was more insulted that he thought I was so stupid to believe the most incredible lies. The time and effort I invested in trying to catch him lying actually killed all my feelings for him. How could I be with someone I couldn’t even trust?

Sure I am disappointed, but now I’m just relieved that I don’t have to read into everything and wonder if its actually true. No more Inspector Clueso for me!

Another viewer’s experience

I married a sociopath. Of course, I didn’t realize that there were those types of human beings in existence. Near the end of our 2 yr. marriage is when I started realizing she had been lying to me & her coworkers (destroying my character) so that she could attempt to have me arrested on false DV charges. Imagine the realization of this from your spouse. I guess she was through with me, so this was her way of disposing of me. I found out later after meeting her ex that she had succeeded in having him arrested on false DV charges (they didn’t stick, because, well, they were false!) He is a really nice man.

I found out some incredulous lies, some just downright crazy, and some directed solely to destroy my character. When I confronted her with several of these lies she would lie again to cover, or simply state “you weren’t there”, etc. The problem is that I spoke with people who were there in the certain instances. My take on it is that one could confront a person such as my ex (who is a validated sociopath ~ by way of psychological testing) until one’s death and not accomplish anything positive. I’ll agree with the one thing that another person stated: When confronted with the truth, there is a long silence.

I have to deal with this person with outrageously horrible behavior because I had children by her. The interesting thing is that she didn’t really “target to destroy” me until she was underway with the second pregnancy. Once I got my feet under me, and started investigating I uncovered lie after lie concerning her parents, my parents, me, my friends, you name it. Nothing was sacred from being destroyed by her lying. I uncovered an affair she had also.

From this experience I may be an incurable cynic on the topic of rehabilitation from chronic lying.

Truth and trust are missing from a liar’s dictionary, and it can’t be penciled in later. My ex uses lies to manipulate people into believing a certain thing or making people act (usually it’s for punitive control, getting what she wants regardless of others, etc.).

Another viewer’s perspective

Is it worth it to keep or build a relationship with a compulsive liar? NO.

It doesn’t matter if he or she is a compulsive liar CL or pathological liar PL there’s no way to keep a healthy relationship when there’s no trust. At first a CL or PL looks and acts like normal people and you will buy anything that person tells you. In time, however, you’ll find some incongruencies in their stories, excuses to show you a home-made recent picture, excuses to avoid a date or meeting, a list of reasons why you can’t meet their family or friends. Eventually, he or she will be forced to present extraordinary excuses. Compulsive liars offer nothing but lies after lies. And when you confront a compulsive liar with the facts they’ll act defensive or they’ll act like the victim of someone who doesn’t trust them.

Is it worth it?

No. Move away. Everyone deserves better.

From someone who has learned to live with a compulsive liar

I have been married to a compulsive liar for more than 25 years. The lies ranged from simple ones that had no apparent point, to very complex deceptions made to achieve a goal. When confronted, she would deny lying, adroitly misdirect the conversation, verbally attack me, and try every approach imaginable to avoid the truth. If pursued long enough, she may tell the truth, but with a great deal of resentment.

This problem was not apparent when we first married, but became more apparent as the responsibilities of a relationship and parenthood arrived.

It was just two days ago that I told her I thought she was a compulsive liar. We went to the internet and looked up some definitions. I left, she took some tests and read some more, then walked to where I was and announced that she was a compulsive liar. I asked if she was kidding—she said she was not. She said she read it can be caused by traumatic events occurring as a child, and she has, reportedly, had those. But I am not too sure about her past, since her recounting of past events has been shown to change.

I don’t think I will ever really know what her life was before I met her. I don’t think she can be counted on to not lie, but she is not so bad that she can’t be counted on as a life partner. I love her and don’t wish to leave. The kids are grown and know that mom sometimes has a hard time telling the truth. She tells me she does not know why she lies.

Another person’s take on the issue

I was dating someone for almost a year until I finally wised up and broke up with them two weeks ago because I was tired of his lying. He doesn’t think that he does anything wrong, he cannot even talk about problems because he would always push them under the rug.

When I met him he had recently lost his wife, I wanted to just be friends, but he insisted on being ready to date. Honesty and trust are essential for any type of relationship to grow. This past year has been one of great stress and I will never stay with someone who lies to me because one lie seems to lead to another lie.

Life is tough enough, and each and every one of us has our share of quirks, but when you are fortunate in this life to find someone who really cares for you, that’s something special in this day and age.

It is still hard to deal with what happened, but time heals everything.

From a compulsive liar

I understand compulsive liars, because I am in fact one myself. My habits are not as bad as when I was younger, but I still lie to protect myself, my past and my truth and I would come up with anything to protect me… I used to take habit in faking people and identities to try and protect myself. What saved me was actually meeting another compulsive liar… We both clocked on to it because we were both doing the exact same thing, we had the same techniques, so one night I confronted her, telling her I understand exactly why she is the way she is, because I am myself. It was such a relief to find someone who had the exact same problem as me, we both gave each other confidence and hope, and we went counseling together and group therapies…. Dealing with the truth IS scary, especially when you deeply hate the person you are and not who you’re making everyone believe you are.. but we’re getting there.

From another compulsive liar

I can also understand why a compulsive liar lies. Mainly because I have recently discovered I am one. I truly don’t know why I lie, but I have read the symptoms and I concur that I lie to protect myself. I grew up in a middle class family. I was basically the star student in my earlier grades (1st through 3rd) and mt parents never really let me forget it. I actually began to slack in school a bit, and thats my fault. But as soon as I received my first B my parents grounded me for a long time. (I do remember this.) And from there on they continued to make sure my homework was always done and would never let me leave the house until it was done.

I think that’s when it all started…I began to lie to my parents and tell them my homework was done so I could go play with friends sooner. I’m not sure how but, I as time went on I lied more and more. I, actually to the point where I can lie to myself and believe in false things. I tell my parents that they tell me things, or that they don’t tell me things to get out of a sticky situation so I’m not punished. I do it to everyone now because I’m always afraid of the punishment. I am currently in a great relationship that is slowly slipping away. I truly mean no harm to anyone but my girlfriend is amazing…I don’t know how she puts up with me. I lie about the littlest things. Their family is on vacation and I forgot to mow their lawn…and I was talking to her, I told her that I mowed it…when I didn’t yet, but she didn’t even come home for another week so there was not point in lying.

I am currently seeing help and I advise all those that know a compulsive liar to help them. Because its hard and self-confusing. It’s instinct to lie for us, and it feels weird when I tell the truth…

A friend’s perspective

About a year ago, I discovered that my best friend is a compulsive liar. She had made up an ex-boyfriend, who contacted all of her friends through msn and through emails. Her lies were so deep, and she brought this ex-boyfriend up daily, sometimes crying over fights they got into. Finally, I confronted her, and she denied everything. I lost a few other friends, because she convinced them I was a bad person. Recently, a friend and I went to her parents, because we’re still relatively young, and believe there may be hope for her. But the more we speak to her parents or other friends, we see that she didn’t only lie about this boy. Simple things, like teaching kids on weekends, and her financial situation. It helps to know I’m not alone in being hurt, but my friend just will not ever admit defeat, or concede that she ever lied. I now fear the only thing to do is walk away, and hope that she can get professional help. I too have become cynical at this tender age.

From a victim of a compulsive liar

Anyone who has been shocked or devastated by the actions of a adept liar knows the shame that follows. You are outraged, but deep inside you feel stupid and naive for having misjudged someone’s character so profoundly. Compulsive liars shake off the chaos, confusion, damage they inflict on others much like the snake who sheds his skin. They may be agitated while wriggling out of a lie, but once this accomplished, they move on; smarter and smoother from the experience. I sleep with one eye open after a brief affair 10 years ago. I ended up pregnant after 3 months of dating this man I had met at work. After seeing the positive sign on the test strip he proved how a con man only yells the truth when it is less problematic than a lie. He quickly told me his real name, what he really did for a living, his family lived only a few miles away, made a hasty exit. He turns up now and again to terrorize me and my daughter. He occasionally ends up in jail. But I always have to move far away. A good rule to remember is that all the power in any relationship lies in hands of the person who cares the least. It seems dark-hearted and wrong, but it is the truth.

Another story

I was married to a compulsive liar for three years; we dated for one year before we married. He was the most charming man I’d ever met, and I believe now it was because he knew about his lying problem. Also, his lying worked to hook me because he told me what he knew I wanted to hear. The lies ranged from tiny, silly things to very important issues. My trust in him was ultimately destroyed, and that is when I decided I needed to leave. I confronted him several (and several more) times, but he always denied that he was lying and became angry with me. Having no trust in him and being verbally and emotionally attacked by him was not worth all the great things about him, and there were many. I believe much of love is made up of trust. I have always wished him well since I left him, but I know he’s still at it. I received a call recently from a woman who found our divorce papers in the trunk of his car when he sent her there for one of his sweaters—he told her he had never been married. She was crying her heart out to me. I told her to run, especially since I found out he had been divorced in the same manner—I found his first divorce papers in the trunk of his car, where he had sent me to find his sweater. Ha ha. Go figure!

Another Compulsive Liar Gives His Perspective

I am a compulsive liar. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 10 years. I have lied to her about everything in my life the whole time. I even told her a friend of mine died and that was to cover up why I was talking to another woman (yet another woman) for months. I say whatever I have to to avoid confrontation and accountability. I have ruined my marriage and am currently chasing a younger girl. This relationship will not satisfy me either. My advice if you are involved with a pathological liar is RUN! It doesn’t get any better and you will destroy your soul.

Someone Else Who Chose To Move On

I was engaged for 3 yrs to a man who I now realize I didn’t even really know. He painted a totally different picture of himself to me than what the world saw, and I chose to believe him even though there were obvious red flags throughout the 3 yrs. He’s like a chameleon that changes colors in order to attain the goal of the moment. When he’s with bar friends he’s one of the crowd, when at church he lifts his hands in prayer & kneels to show his fake reverence. When we’re together in public, he’s reserved and attentive to me, when I’m absent he’s a blatant womanizer that sneaks and cheats and lies to cover his tracks. I feel like an idiot for believing him, and trusting him. It nearly took an act of God for me to finally see the light & realize he was just using me, that he didn’t love me or anybody for that matter, nor was he ever going to marry me. I’m hurt and have gone thru a deep 7 month depression over him duping and mocking me. All his crowd, and there are many of them, knew who he really was, and no one told me though they hinted at times, he denied it and I waited for solid proof before finally confronting him. I’m sorry for the lost time spent trying to deal with him, and I too recommend anyone in a relationship like this to MOVE on, run like Forest Gump until you are as far away as possible. These kind of people are toxic and will bring you down, they’re survivors but we suffer the most and in the end this could be our downfall, not theirs. Be strong & move on.

Another Sad Story

I recently discovered my boyfriend is a compulsive liar. But, he hasn’t accepted that he is. I’m not a psychologist, but by all criteria I can find, I would bet all my money that he is. He lies frequently, about stupid things and big things. When I confronted him about it he actually had the guts to defend himself by saying that he’s “never lied to me”. But he has. I cannot trust him at all.

From what I can tell, he doesn’t feel bad about it. What he does feel bad about is himself. He can’t seem to handle the reality of his life, and constantly shades or fabricates the truth to make himself appear in a way that will be appealing to whomever he is speaking with. He has created this completely false persona to hide from his own failures, which are pretty small in comparison to others. He’s an incredibly talented, intelligent and funny person who is destroying any possibility of a healthy relationship with me because of his lying coping mechanism. It’s never a deal breaker for someone to have low self esteem. What is a deal breaker is when their ways of compensating are hurtful to themselves or others, such as compulsive lying. That saddest part is that if he would just be honest and deal with his insecurities in a healthy way, our relationship would be completely different (and better). But thus far, he’s not showing signs of wanting to do that.

After speaking to my therapist, I’ve come to the conclusion that the relationship has no future. I am deeply saddened by this. But, I have to also realize that I have a pattern myself of seeking out codependent relationships, which makes it more difficult to leave. But, I must take ownership of my own inadequacies and realized that my own self esteem and respect is worth more than trying to help someone who consistently hurts and disrespects me.

My advice to anyone who is dating a compulsive liar is to shift the focus away from trying to fix them and look rationally at the situation as a whole. Yes, you may love this person, but are they aren’t showing you the kind of love you need (and deserve)? Whether you believe it or not, you DO deserve someone who will be honest with you. You DO deserve a real relationship. And a real relationship MUST be built upon trust and honesty. Don’t you want a relationship with someone you can truly know and respect and who can truly know and respect you?

Good luck, stay strong and remember- You are important. And you are deserving of true love and respect. It’s never too late to take care of yourself.

Twelve Years With a Compulsive Liar

I have been in a relationship with a Compulsive/Pathological Liar for 12 years. It is the most devastating and soul crushing thing anyone can live with. Everyday you wait for the “ball to drop”. For his next scam to come knocking on your door ex: cops, bill collectors, utility workers, landlords, even family that he has screwed over. If you are in a relationship with someone who has this disorder LEAVE before you get so vested you can’t. He has financially ruined me. Stold thousands from me and my family. He has been in trouble and put me in trouble with the law for check kiting.(which he did obviously without my knowledge). We have a special needs child that requires me to be home with her so I have become dependent on him because he has completely ruined me I can’t even rent an apartment. Let me tell you do not think you can change them or that they can get better IT DOES NOT HAPPEN. We have tried everything; therapy, church counseling, medication. He still lies. I have went from excellent credit making 120,000 a year owning a 5000 square foot house, jaguar and duramax diesel truck to being bankrupt living without electricity for 2 months and wondering when I may be evicted has he lied about paying the rent again. He will lie about paying bills, how much money he makes, where he is, what he is doing, his parents, his heritage, his life in general. DO NOT think that the lies will stop. Every time someone like him goes to get help they will do ok for several months then the lies come back. The problem is that their lies become real to them and they have no reality any more they believe they paid the rent when they haven’t. The only way you will ever find out is if you find out for yourself they will not ever tell you unless you have proof, letters etc. I have lived with this person for several years because I believe that he is a good person (which he probably is) and that it was the right thing for me to do for my family to stick by him and get him help and nothing has worked. I am stuck because of my financial circumstances PLEASE do not become me. LEAVE at the first sign of a serious lie.

Children Are Impacted Too

My ex is a liar. He’s also the father of our daughter so even though we’re not in a relationship now, we still have ongoing contact. It’s really hard on me, he has many great qualities but when he lies it overshadows everything that’s good about him. It also makes it difficult when his daughter accuses him of lying. What am I supposed to say to her? How can I defend him? He does lie. I’d be a liar if I told her that he didn’t.

So what I think about this is that he puts people into little boxes. He’ll say one thing to one person, and another thing to another person in another box, and on it goes. The world crashes when these people’s paths cross because the truth inevitably comes out. I for one have no idea who he is. He’s living all these different lives. His life isn’t one whole like normal people. I desperately want to take him at face value, but it’s difficult to separate his fact from fiction and it leaves the person on the receiving end with no trust left. I’ve tried for years to be a good friend to him, but I don’t think he’s capable of being a good friend to me.

He lies about stupid stuff, and important stuff, and he doesn’t seem to understand withholding the truth is every bit as bad as blatant lying.

You know, if you’re a liar and you’re reading this message, I want you to understand how destructive your lying is. Not just because it costs relationships with partners who once loved you, but because it stresses your relationships with your children too. Our daughter is 8 years old. She adores her father, but even at 8 years old she’s looking at him with wariness in her eyes. That is, I think, the ultimate tragedy of lying. When even your young children, the ones you adore, look at you differently because of your lying habit.

Dated A Compulsive Liar

I just ended a 2.5 year relationship with a compulsive liar yesterday. In the beginning, I found him very charming. He would tell me about all of the beautiful women he had dated and really seemed to know a lot about women in general. But the more he talked the more I found out he was lying. There were some really great qualities about him so I did the worst and chose to ignore the white lies. But then they started becoming bigger and bigger. Infidelity, he was harboring an STI and didn’t tell me and then BLAMED it on me, he would stand me up and then I would find out he was doing hard drugs at parties with women….it was awful. I tried to confront him and he’d tell me I was wildly jealous, I’m in my own world and was deluding myself….even when I would try to show him text messages he wrote to PROVE he had lied…..all just terrible. I’m deeply hurt, embarrassed that I believed in him and thought he could actually BE the great guy he made himself out to be. But everything that came out of his mouth was a lie. Absolutely everything. My advice is to tell them they’re a liar, tell them to get help, and WALK AWAY. Liars belong with liars. Let them be together instead of infecting and ruining good, kind and loving people.

Think My Parents Are Compulsive Liars

I am pretty sure both of my parents are compulsive liars. My father has been audited several times by the IRS, denied stealing money from me when I was a working teen, and encouraged us kids to lie about his affair -we met his mistress when we were preteens. I think my mom enables his behavior or is a compulsive liar, too. The most significant evidence of their behavior is this: neither my mom not dad will admit that they believe I was raped. After our alcoholic bi-polar brother died in 2004, my older sister spilled the beans that I was raped at camp in 1980 when I was 16. My sister said our brother started drinking because I was raped at camp. No evidence exists to support any rape. My parents use this mythical rape to explain why I spent almost 3 months in a mental health care facility. I am 45 years old now. I found about this horrible lie in 2004—now I understand why my entire family treated me in such a bizarre way. Compulsive lying must be just a small part of mental illness. I am bi-polar and am having success with medical and counseling, but two years ago this chemical imbalance almost cost me my husband and 2 children. I am still praying for wisdom on how to treat my parents who are 75 and 78 and very ill. I know Jesus will give me wisdom and strength to continue loving and respecting my parents and help me not to be a victim of them. Their big lie about me has definitely tainted many relationships in my life.

My Younger Sister Is A Compulsive Liar

My youngest sister is a compulsive liar and I find it very difficult to deal with her. I am not sure if this is hereditary, but it seems like almost everyone in my mom’s family has some kind of lying disorder. She is also very close to these people.

I have confronted her about the lying, but it has never done any good and she just keeps lying. It makes me wonder if she keeps lying because I am the only one that has ever confronted her and she could care less about what I have to say.

She has torn the whole family apart with her lies. I don’t talk to my parents because they believe every word that she says and then they call me as soon as they find out she lied, expecting me to do something.

Another example is how she lies about her children being sick or makes it seem worse that what it is. When my mom calls me and says my niece or nephews are sick, I ask her where she got her information. If it is from anyone but the doctor, then I do not believe it. I also ask for symptoms and go straight to webmd. Everyone, including my parents, know that she lies and they still believe everything she says. I do not understand why people enable liars.

Another instance is last year when she falsified a restraining order, which was one me. I have a file folder with about 10 pages of evidence that shows the restraining order was falsified. No one knew I had the evidence until the day of court, but nothing was still done because she dropped the restraining order. I do not think she expected me to show up with witnesses and evidence. She stuttered and dropped the restraining order.

I have made it very clear to her that until she gets help, I want nothing to do with her.

I have learned, with her, that when she lies she does show it. She gets really defensive and raises her voice. While she is doing this, she is trying to convince everyone that she is not lying. I do not think she even is aware that she does it.

A Compulsive Liar Who Found A Fix

I’ve been surrounded by “compulsive liars” almost my entire life, from family, to friends-significant others. I myself am a compulsive liar.
My fiance is one as well. At first he was a normal, average Joe. With no real negative points. But as our one year anniversary hit I either started to open my eyes or he started to lie. Since then I have caught him in as many lies as I could imagine.

Like above, I did my research and he is aware that there is a good chance I will find out that he is lying.

At first I would scream, cry, argue and act out in direct effect to his lies (most of them were rather ridiculous, large lies at this point).

After a while when I started to realized that my own reactions were childish and in no way helping the situation I turned to other resources.

Now I take his lies for what they are worth, I let him tell me the truth and most times he won’t. So I confront him with what I know to be well versed fact and he starts to cry or scream saying he is “sorry” and did not want me to get “angry.”

It has been nearly 2 years and he is still lying about tiny things or big things they are all the same. I have come to terms with the fact that no matter how deeply we care for one another this behavior seems to never change.

In the end however threw all my research and tactics to get him to stop lying I have realized that I have stop lying. It seems that through my efforts to help him I have really helped myself.

Advice: Compulsive Lying is at its most horrible times an addiction. Addicts will not get better unless they want to- and most don’t truly want too.

You can either learn from your situations and move on. Or stay with the addict and spend the rest of your life trying to “fix” someone else’s problem.

Married To A Compulsive Liar

I am married to a man who I now know is a compulsive liar. I am actually at a point where I want to try to understand why he does this and I want to try to fix this. But at the same time, the last two years have put so much stress on me and pain in my heart and he has completely lost all my trust. I do not even have a desire to be with him in a physical way now. This is ruining our marriage. I am getting physically ill now because of always having to try to figure out what is true & what is a lie. He tells me things and I get excited about what he is telling me and then it never happens, big things like…we are going to buy a house…and going as far as sitting at the table with the realtor and then finding out that he never really intended on buying the house in the first place. He strings me along daily keeping me thinking things are gonna be the way he said and then ultimately, he gets what he wants, and I just stop asking questions about what happened.SO he wins because he got away with the lying everyday until I just stopped asking what is going on? This has been the case with at least 20-30 big time situations in the past two years… he lies about rent being paid, he lies about our car payments being paid all the way up until the day the car gets repossessed! This just happened last month and he is still telling me every day that today is the day we are getting our car back…see he does not lie about just tiny things these are huge things!!! and this is not the first car that has disappeared one disappeared with no logical explanation and the sad thing is it belonged to my 17 year old son…it was his first car ..my husband tried to tell us it was stolen but we know better… nothing added up in his story at all. It never does. Right now I am trying to figure out if I should start some kind of counseling or on the other hand… do I need to subject myself and my well being to all of this nonsense. I know they say there is good in all of us but I cannot understand hurting someone (that you say you love) over and over with lies.

Dealing With A Business Partner Who Is A Compulsive Liar

It has been nearly 7 months since I ended my business partnership of 3 years with a woman who is either a compulsive or pathological liar. It has been relieving to know that there is a term and a recognized condition for these kinds of people. I also found relief in reading the stories on your site. I am one of those that firmly believe that you cannot help these people, but you can only choose to tolerate the behavior or leave the situation. I tolerated it for 3 years and then I, after experiencing so much mental overhead and stress, decided to end the partnership and the business.

In any relationship, business or personal, trust is the most important ingredient. Without it, I don’t know how anyone can expect for their relationship to flourish.

She came to the table with a lot of promise, all self-substantiated. When we began to roll as a business, her job was business development. She turned out to be the Madoff of appointments in that she accepted appointments that she knew she would not be able to fulfill, often setting up appointments at the same time and day. When confronted on not meeting deadlines or returning calls, because people were coming to me to complain, it was the same excuses–she blamed technology and the world around her. At this rate, the coincidences of the same technical issues (and we were a tech company) and personal issues grew uncanny. In her personal life, she lied too. Her two young children, of 8 and 11, she felt were old enough to take care of themselves at home without adult supervision, since she and her husband worked. She admitted to having had an affair and pursuing at least 2 separate ones during our business relationship. All her business promises were never delivered. She said she would call back in 5 minutes but she really meant 5 hours. She said she would deliver a proposal by Friday, she would miss it and not feel compelled to let anyone know. She would attend meetings, be given a list of tasks, agree to take care of them, and then needed to be reminded excessively, like a child, to get them done. Clients and employees alike believed that she did nothing all day. I contemplated having her followed or using stealth tracking software on her computer. I realized that just having these suspicions was not healthy nor was it productive. Like many other stories here, when confronted she either remained very quiet or she adamantly argued that I was not seeing her potential. At the very end, I rehearsed my conversation to end our partnership with my girlfriend who is a social worker. I also substantiated the discussion with extensive sales, and software usage reports to demonstrate that not only had she not met her own sales goals, for 3 years, but she was the also the 13th slowest person in the company to respond to any sales inquiry by web, email or phone–and yet, that was her only job and she was a partner and owner in the company. The information was indisputable, even though the real life situation, to anyone familiar with the cl/pl person, would also have been indisputable. I had never experienced anyone like this in my life. Ironically, during our talk to end the partnership, she acknowledged that prior partnerships had all ended the same way.

The 10 giveaway signs of a toxic person – and how to handle them

Toxic people are everywhere – they’re hiding at work, in baby groups, in cafes, even in your own family – just waiting to cause havoc in your life. But how can you spot a toxic person? And how do you minimize their damage?

We’ve all come across them at one point or another in our lives. The colleague who seems to have it in for you, the friend who always has a drama they want to involve you in, the difficult neighbor, or the family member who wears you out every time you see or speak to them.

What all these people have in common is toxicity – they are unpleasant, draining and just hard to spend time with. Like a poison, they do nothing to enrich your life and career, or make it any easier or more successful.

It’s important to protect yourself from toxic people

In fact they usually do the opposite. They suck the joy out of work, drag out assignments unnecessarily, play political games, give you the run around as clients and make awkward, hard-to-please customers.

Like many things in life, being forewarned that someone is potentially a toxic person to deal with is forearmed. You can prepare strategies to deal with them, or minimize your contact with them.

It also enables you to protect yourself where necessary. Knowing someone may probably be picky and even underhand, you can ensure you follow all procedures to the official letter, get back up in where necessary and make sure you get every instruction or agreement in writing.

The 10 giveaway signs of a toxic person

So just how do you spot a toxic person? Luckily there are a number of easy-to-spot signs that, when you’re aware of them, enable you to pick them out a mile off.

1) They’re selfish

Toxic people are so busy thinking of themselves that they’ll rarely show any concern for others. Their communication setting is usually stuck on broadcast and they’ll happily talk for hours about themselves without being interested enough to spare one question for you.

And it’s not just their conversation. Toxic people genuinely have no concern for your feelings, and feel no need to take them into consideration. And worryingly, this often demonstrates itself in control. They care about how they feel, what they want to do, what their needs are, and will happily manipulate you to ensure they’re met.

In a friendship, this could mean asking you to babysit their children even if it’s not convenient for you, expecting you to change your plans to meet them, or putting you down by criticizing your looks, personality or mothering skills.

In the workplace, a toxic person may demand that you work late, knowing you need to collect your child from nursery, they’ll present you with an urgent project just before lunch, or prevent you from getting a promotion because they need you in their department.

If you recognize that someone is trying to control you, it’s not worth appealing to their better nature, because the chances are they don’t have one! All you can do is try to minimize your exposure to them and move on as quickly as possible.

2) They need to be right

Toxic people are so thin-skinned that they can’t stand the thought they might ever be wrong. It doesn’t matter how tiny the issue, they’ll argue their point of view until you give up out of exhaustion. What you may think, feel or believe (or in fact what IS the truth) doesn’t matter.

Their need to be right trumps common sense, truth and even normal social bounds. They’ll pursue an issue until it’s conceded that they are in fact right. They’ll even happily take their fight to the legal system, incurring huge costs and a waste of time, often over very trivial matters – even suing neighbors over inches of land or the height of boundary hedges.

So if you ever cross or publicly doubt a toxic person, be prepared for a fight. They’re determined, bitter and underhand adversaries. And in their quest to be seen as right, they’re happy to lie, fabricate and misdirect.

3) They’re surrounded by drama

Ever met someone that bad things always happen to? Their flat gets burgled, they get food poisoning at their own wedding, their best friend runs off with their husband, their favorite dress is lost by the dry cleaner… it can seem that some people are just so unlucky.

Or are they? Could it be that their psyche is defined by the bad things that happen to them? Or that they enjoy the attention and sympathy they get from them? Perhaps they have had some truly unlucky experiences, but maybe others are over dramatized, or somehow brought about by a lack of care – or even from attracting drama through negative visualization?

Whatever the reason, you’ll often find that a toxic person thrives on drama, and will dwell excessively on any negative experience that befalls them – cementing their victim hood and sucking the positive energy from those around them.

4) They lie

Most of us have found ourselves telling a white lie at some point in our lives, but if you discover that someone is deliberately misleading you, withholding or twisting information, or just downright lying, then watch out! If they’re comfortable with telling small lies, then you won’t know when to trust anything they say.

And as we’ve already mentioned, a toxic person is happy to twist, obscure and reinvent the truth to hide or pursue their other personality flaws.

5) They’re too eager

Relationships take time to build, and an emotionally healthy person recognizes that you need space. So if you meet someone who seems in a haste to get to know you or start a business relationship with you, or who makes you feel pressured or smothered, run a mile.

Not anticipating or appreciating the feelings or needs of another is a big warning sign of a selfish person, and even possibly a narcissist. And if they’re ignoring your requests or not getting the hint early on in your relationship, it doesn’t bode well later on when you’re bound to them through contracts or friendship.

6) They’re always the victim

Some people always have someone else to blame for their problems:

  • They didn’t meet their deadline because their manager didn’t remind them about it.
  • They’re hungover today because they worked too late on your project to eat.
  • They missed the early morning meeting because their wife forgot to set their alarm.
  • They didn’t book a doctor’s appointment because you didn’t give them the number.
  • They missed a promotion because their mum didn’t insist they take French A’Level.

Bad things and unavoidable accidents happen to all of us sometimes – that’s life. But some people are happy blaming everyone else for their problems, including those they should take personal responsibility for. So the chances are, whatever happens to them it will be someone else’s fault – including yours.

7) They never have a nice word to say about others

It’s easy to find things about pretty much everyone that annoy us (just as others can easily find faults in us). But most of us have far more good points than bad, and it’s not difficult to focus on these.

Unless of course you’re a toxic person. There’s a fine line between harmless gossip and bitching, and a toxic person is happy to cross it – they rarely have a good word to say about anyone.

So if you ever come across someone who is happy, even gleeful, to run other people down, be careful. Don’t allow their words to inform your opinion, and watch what you say about others. The chances are that they’re saying just as spiteful things about you when your back is turned!

8) They don’t let go

Bad things and people happen to all of us. And when they do we go through all the normal emotions – anger, blame, questioning, grief etc. Then we move on to more positive times.

Or at least we do if we’re not a toxic person. Toxic people thrive on drama and negativity, and relish the attention they get from it. So much as they may rail and moan about their misfortune, deep down they love it – even need it.

A truly awful experience that is not their fault is like gold dust to a toxic person, so why should they want to move past it? Instead they’ll drag it up at any given opportunity, depressing everyone they come into contact with. So beware!

9) They’re evasive

Most people are quite straightforward. You ask them a question, and they’ll give you the answer. But not a toxic person. They thrive on attention and drama, and will happily lie at will. They also find strength in destabilizing others. Unable to operate on a level playing field, they tilt, twist and muddle the truth until no one is sure what’s going on.

They use this tactic to control meetings and cover up their deficiencies. They’re also adept political creatures who know just how to manipulate a situation to their advantage – and sabotage anyone who is in their way.

So if you ever come across anyone who seems unable to give you a straight answer, who makes the most straightforward project seem convoluted, who hogs and sabotages every meeting, or who changes the subject whenever you ask for something, the chances are they’re toxic.

10) They’re not nice to others

Don’t get us wrong, toxic people can be very charming. But only when it serves them. If you’re useful to them or they want something from you, they may be lovely, flattering even. Their attentions can seem heady and overwhelming. But it’s all a show.

The clearest way to get a sense of someone’s real character is to watch how they treat others, especially people who aren’t useful to them, and never will be.

How nice are they to the guy that works in the station ticket office? To the postman? The waitress in the cafe you sometimes go to for lunch? Junior colleagues? Other peoples’ children?

If you want to find out whether someone may be toxic or not, just observe their relationships with people who mean nothing to them, and watch how polite, kind or thoughtful they are (or not). It’s a good measure of how they may one day treat you if you cease to be useful!

How to handle toxic people

So what do you do if you have a toxic person in your life? The last thing you want to do is to go down to their level, but you do need to learn to protect yourself. Here are some tips:

  • Know your boundaries and stick to them – don’t let a toxic person erode your boundaries for their own gain. Work out what is important to you and make sure you don’t budge on it.
  • Keep a record of anything decided – as we recommend in our article on how to handle a difficult client, make sure you protect yourself from toxic colleagues, bosses or customers. If anything is discussed or agreed verbally, follow it up with an email confirmation, and invite correction if anything is wrong. This will help to prevent or expose lying later on.
  • Be polite and honest – just because someone else is rude or deceitful doesn’t mean you have an excuse to be. Ensure you always act by your own standards, and let others see toxic people for what they are.
  • Don’t share confidences with them – expect that anything you say to a toxic person will be repeated in a negative way, so be careful what you share with them. Never gossip about colleagues, clients or friends, or share a secret that you wouldn’t mind your worst enemy knowing.
  • Avoid being a shoulder to cry on – as we shared in our article on positivity, negativity is contagious and drags others down with you. So when you spend hours listening to a toxic person moan about everything that has gone wrong or the people who have betrayed them, all that is going to happen is that you’ll feel depressed! Nothing you can say will cheer up a toxic person – they enjoy being a victim. Save your energies for those who genuinely deserve them, or who make you feel better, not worse.
  • Be firm – toxic people want their own way at any cost. So you’ll need to stand your ground when dealing with them. If you’re not giving them them what they want, they’ll try all kinds of underhand and emotionally manipulating tactics to get it. So be prepared and be firm.

Read more articles about toxic people

How to Defend Against False Accusations of Domestic Violence

False allegations of domestic violence can affect every part of a person’s life. Depending on any given individual’s personal circumstances, a domestic violence defendant can watch their job security crumble and relationships that they held dear vanish at a moment’s notice.


The general population’s view of those charged with domestic abuse against a girlfriend, spouse, child, or anyone else can be a destructive force and a violation of one’s rights when the person charged with domestic violence is not guilty of their alleged crimes. Unfortunately, even proof of innocence can fail to repair one’s life and reputation once a person has been accused of these types of crimes.


Having assisted individuals facing a false accusation of domestic violence for several years, I have personally experienced several incidences where my clients were charged with domestic violence crimes for which I knew they were not guilty. In the majority of these cases, my clients are victims themselves. Victims of revenge plots thrown together by someone that they previously held dear, and in some cases, still do.


Before providing my hints, tips, and available actions that defendants may be able to use to their advantage, I would be doing a disservice if I failed to stress how important a case evaluation by an experienced legal professional can be for anyone trying to find out what to do when falsely accused of domestic violence.


Man crushed by gavel

That said, there are several things for which someone who has been falsely accused of domestic violence can do to help ensure their rights are protected and freedoms secured. Laws in different states will vary widely, but the following concepts can be used to help you and yours who are faced with false domestic violence allegations.


What many do not realize until it is too late is that a lot of the damage that can be done by a false domestic violence accusation comes before charges are officially filed. The type of person that accuses another innocent person of committing violent acts against them is one that is regularly emotionally unstable. Emotionally unstable people tend to act out and commit irrational behaviors, such as falsely accusing you of attacking them.



If your relationship begins to turn sour and your accuser begins to act in a way that leads you to believe that they will file false domestic abuse charges against you, there are some actions you can take to help limit other dangerous actions they can take to sabotage you.


  • Consult with a domestic violence defense attorney. Find someone in your area that provides free consultations and call to take advantage. Even if you are not planning to hire, the attorney can give you priceless information to help you better understand what your options are.


  • Protect your valuables. Do not just hope that they “would never do that”. In my experience, those who have false accusations brought against them for committing domestic violence rarely expect their accuser to actually go through with pressing charges, but they do. If your accuser steals your driver’s license, birth certificate, car titles, or money from you and then files charges against you, you may spend all of your time trying to get your stuff back rather than taking care of what needs to be done to ensure your freedom. A grave mistake that could cost you more than you thought possible.


  • Notify family members about your concerns. Unfortunately, family members may turn against you after news surfaces that you have been charged with committing domestic violence. If your accuser claims that you hurt them and/or your children, your closest family members may mistakenly ban you from their lives. If you keep them informed of your accuser’s erratic and troublesome behaviors, as well as your fears of what they may do, you may be able to prepare your family for the allegations and have them be more inclined to believe your side of the story.


  • Change all of your login information. Bank accounts, computers, laptops, vehicle entrance, hard drives, cell phones, and anything else you can think of that requires your password should be changed as soon as possible. There have been instances in which accusers send messages from the defendant’s cell phone and then later accuses them of sending threatening messages. Don’t let this or anything similar happen to you by securing anything and everything that you can.


  • If you are the abused, gather evidence. There are instances where the person who is accused of committing domestic abuse is actually the victim victim of physical and emotional abuse. If this is the case, gather as much evidence as you can without putting yourself in danger. If you feel that you are in any danger or are a victim of abuse now, contact your local abuse services to get immediate help.

Christians Page-There’s no surprises on Election Day

TOPSHOT - Republican presidential elect Donald Trump speaks during election night at the New York Hilton Midtown in New York on November 9, 2016. / AFP / JIM WATSON (Photo credit should read JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images)
TOPSHOT – Republican presidential elect Donald Trump speaks during election night at the New York Hilton Midtown in New York on November 9, 2016. / AFP / JIM WATSON (Photo credit should read JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images)

Story By:Christian Jenkins

Trump President of the United States. The whole world is surprised and scared. Why? Why surprised? In my opinion, there were several clues that might indicate that this would happen: – already the last mid-term elections (in 2014) had shown the political will of the American people more oriented towards the Republican party. – the victory of an outsider at Republican party primary against Ted Cruz and Bush (a very important name in the USA) have also shown that the Republicans wanted to see new faces. – the constant presence of Trump on the media, by his candidacy to today, played an important role. Even if everybody was talking bad about him, that doesn’t matter. The new president of the United States himself said, and I quote, ” if you are a little different, or a little outrageous, or if you do things that are bold or controversial, the press is going to write about you.” Nothing truer! This not only happened but he realized another classic of Wall Street: “there is no such thing as bad publicity”. – It’s the United States people! They like the strange and the exaggerated. Now, tell me, what is weirder and exaggerated than a billionaire sir, which expresses as a farmer of Arkansas and wears a wig made with Garfield’s hair? Why scared? As I have already written a few days ago, There have already been Republican presidents very similar to Trump. In fact, I believe the duo Bush father-son was ten times more dangerous than can ever be the eccentric Donald. But there are other reasons that keep me cool: – the nuclear wars don’t burst suddenly nor without a good reason. As far as I am convinced that the war is not a perspective so far in the path of humanity as a whole, it isn’t the time yet. – if you remember Trump’s quote some lines before, now we know very well that he firmly believes that say exaggerated, controversial, offensive and sometimes stupid things is the best way to reach his goal: a lot of free publicity offered directly by American major medias. This can lead to thinking that maybe – just maybe – he doesn’t really believe many of the things he said during the campaign. In fact, on Youtube, you can find a lot of his interviews of about 10 years ago in which he expressed words much more moderate and “righteous” than he has done so far. Of course, he was probably lying even then, let’s just say the very least, a doubt arises. The United States has just expressed their will which, as it often happens since when this nation exists, after almost a decade of Democratic Government, chose to alternate the political forces. The United States is based very much on the alternation of governments, it’s just part of their political nature, old 240 years. Rather, it’s more interesting to comprehend how Clinton was not able to win, with a good part of the press in her favor, with the support of the current president of the United States and with the endorsement from most part of the Hollywood community. Maybe – just maybe – the American people have perceived the former first lady like a fairly constant presence of American Politics (first lady, then senator, then secretary of state) and did not like that everybody was suggesting to continue to believe in her, treating as a stupid who, on the other hand, was still pondering right on this issue. The fact is that there’s only a truth. Tomorrow you will see how your lives will remain exactly the same as today. And so it will also be for the day after tomorrow and the day after that. Our systems, those of the so-called “civil society”, don’t interfere with those of power, on the contrary, it’s influenced in subtle ways by it. We will remain unchangeable while things around us change in essence but not in appearance. Too bad, it’s been 100 years that the vicious system of power and money teaches us to give importance to the immanence. So have a good day, the world today is not less sure than yesterday. Simply, it has never been safe.